you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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