We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
