bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
