That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
