have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
is it fun? or sober?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
