Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
