I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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