i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
