Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
