On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
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