so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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