So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize
