They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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