I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
