My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
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