I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
