An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize