we have officially lost it.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
