Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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