All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I intend to get homeless drunk
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
