I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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