I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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