As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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