I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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