we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize