my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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