I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
