I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
