We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
