I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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