Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize