there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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