Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
