ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize