He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
