All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
