super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
