i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize