Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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