I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
My vagina just recognized that song.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
