i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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