my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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