Your dad touched me again.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
