yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
