We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
