you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
