i was born a porn star she said
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
