I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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