And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
