left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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