i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Too much gin, very little bucket
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
