who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize