Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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