so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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