We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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