There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
