I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
