So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
