I accidentally had phone sex last night
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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