I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
