it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
