so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
