I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
