If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
