Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i was born a porn star she said
its not stalking. its research.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
