you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
