They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
